I think that parents and children love each other for the experiences they go through and things passed down. I called the County appraisers office and found out that my Dad’s youngest brother is the executor of the estate. I gave them a decent life and have a good relationship with my son, as I did with my … 12. I have no problem talking about him to my son as a friend of mine but feel very strongly about not dropping the word “dad” on a 4-year-old who to date knows he doesn’t have one. Today I found out my wife has been cheating on me for the last 10 years. except that i have an obsession with older guys. We keep our relationship a secret. We couldn't be happier. he most likely cares little about you. 12. My first lover was my father. Today my step father found out I use his name when talking about him after going through my mothers phone. My folks didn't really like my last GF, but they didn't try to break us up or anything, they just let me know they didn't like certain behaviours she had. Covid has made a huge hole in our family. My parents, and other family members, didn't like my Husband when we first started dating. There's a huge difference between appreciation and love. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. My mom wants me (17M) to call my step dad and step siblings my real siblings and dad but I have no interest in doing that Personal issues Backstory:I have known my step siblings and step dad since I was around 5 cause my parents got a divorce. There was no abuse or anything in the relationship, my parents always made sure I was fed/clothed/taken care of. Ironically the only girlfriend (who became my first wife) that my parents didn't disapprove of was the one that cheated and left me after ten months of marriage.My current wife and I have been together 26 years married for 21. I have no reason to really dislike them. I've been made aware that most people don't have such awesome relationships with their fathers. She had never met her at that point. I don't seem to have any interest in my father, as a son or anything. My 78 year old Dad has 3 siblings. and rub his fingers on my back, I used to like that coz i am ticklish, he slowly started going down, at first i used to stop him if i woke up. It deeply depends on details; how he's treating you for you to ask this, basically. My parents like him now, but they don't understand why he has no interest in pursuing a relationship with them. My mother has zero interest in me or my life. After suffering a minor stroke, my father’s stage 4 cancer was discovered quite by accident while he had follow-up tests to prevent further strokes. Yep me too. He never asks me anything so he pretty much doesn't know anything about me. We just had our 11th anniversary and have just finished tucking in both our little girls for the night. My fiance is not mormon and when we started dating I became inactive (it was not because of him that I became inactive, I just wasn't being honest with anyone about how I felt until he came into the picture). Whenever I started dating my boyfriend, his mom highly disapproved. Then one day, after two years of being together, she suggested having a casual dinner with him. I have gynecomastia since i was 10, i was very athletic. For me, it was when he literally hit my dad, repeatedly, with a phone, for trying to call the police. I was 16 and he was 18, working at a gas station while still in high school and then eventually in college. My son feels nothing for me. No, unfortunately. I ended up breaking up with her much later, but that was because I saw things I didn't like & I'm not about to be with a woman if I don't like. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. Basically, if you don't at the very least feel appreciative for someone paying obscene amounts of money to raise you, someone who had to put at least part of his life and his dreams and his aspirations on hold to make sure you would grow up okay - if you don't feel a genuine warmth in your heart towards that man, it's probable that you're a jerk. You have forgotten how wide a gulf you perceived there to be between you and your father when you were a child. Personally, I like my significant other to know that they are free to do whatever they want with whoever. later he … His parents died 17 years ago. Most teenagers don't like their parents, but it's something you grow out of assuming your parents are decent people (and in your case, you mentioned that he has never hurt you). I actually lost (who I thought) was a good friend, also my cousin, because of this. I finally paid off my … I think because your parents normally dedicate a massive portion of their life and money to caring for and raising you. Interactions are always taxing and there are plenty of differences, but I'm learning from them, even though they're not trying to teach me anything. My Dad wanted me to find out if his parents’ property is for sale or had been sold. Their dates became more frequent as my natural father’s interest in me hit an all-time low – I would go without seeing him for six weeks at a time. It drives me crazy, but I decided to find out why so I could at least understand it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o_2TeVk1tc. My graduation party was quite sad because of this. I feel I've been growing more detached over the last few years. I totally respect and appreciate all that he does for me, don't get me wrong. My parents didn't like my SO because he's not Muslim/Albanian; he's Methodist/American. His partner has lots of nieces and nephews (some who live very near to me) and they see them most weekends and spent Christmas with her whole family. All these things I thought I knew to be a certainty about myself when i was in my late teens and early twenties. How unnormal is it? This is more of an inward struggle, which I am very good at hiding. How old is he? 18. You can't pick your parents, and everyone who has them inevitably is influenced by them. I started warming my mom up to him just by talking about him casually and telling her about how much people love him at work and in general. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o_2TeVk1tc (Shamelessly stolen from that sad thread). if you prioritize relationship building in your life, it's a huge waste to not build one with your parents who you're likely to spend a massive amount of time with. You have absolutely described my own experience in dealing with both of these losses. My family is very white nationalist, Yup. It seems that in today's society we're obligated to love our family; that everyone always says that our parents are supposed to bother us, but we're still supposed to love them. And yet, in living with them for the past few years (post B.S. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I realised I missed my father's funeral FOR NOTHING. I dearly loved my father but we had many interests in common and spent a lot of time together. It's no longer all that unusual for a parent to remarry in later years (frequently to someone a bit younger) and have at … Now we are planning a wedding for March and it isn't a perfect situation but she is really trying her hardest to be accepting. I don't mean that in a negative way, it's much more neutral. In terms of being a teenager, I'm extremely obedient to both of my parents and don't engage in the usual stupid behavior of my peers. lol. They thought my fiance would distract me from school and wasn't a good match for me because she was "too reserved" or "not a good fit" for my personality. That, that's what family is for and what family is supposed to do. He never has any time for his kids. Everyone wants a good relationship with their parents, but it can be difficult when you grow older and feel like your mom and dad still treat you like a helpless child. Press J to jump to the feed. He was (and still is) a cook. They were married within a year. All I would see was me, I did not know if I was pretty but I thought I must not be because Daddy does not think I am. I eventually moved 600+ miles away from my family 2 months after I graduated high school, with him, and that was almost 8 years ago. Sign #8: He is fine with you hanging around other men This one is a mixed signal to me. My parents did NOT approve. I used to struggle with that a lot until I got older and realized that it was silly to buy into the notion that you should love someone because "that is the way its supposed to be". My parents weren't divorced (my father died a few years ago), there has been no huge family dispute, there is no big skeleton in anyone's cupboard (well, not mine, anyway). My mother has had no interest in my three granddaughters either.It's not always been easy, but it has only made our relationship stronger in the end. Better to know them despite it being dull than to know nothing about them at all, you may regret that ignorance when you're trying to find out who you are. You can't relate to any of it, so you don't take an interest in any of it. Thankfully she accepted him over time and looks at him as her own child now. I'm not really like my mom, for example, even though she was my primary caretaker growing up. My parents are amazing people, but are technically my grandparents which puts me and my brother at age 30 with young families, and them in their 70’s. My father never hugged me, was proud of me or acknowledged me. like, my dad. He was my best friend always there for me i love him dearly and there is a massive wound in my heart and a larger gap in my world.i feel for u i realy do. He will never ignore a plea for help. Yes, my mother hated my fiance. My mom (parents are divorced), did NOT like my husband when she first met him. He threatened me with knives “I’m the youngest of three brothers. Here are some signs that your dad had narcissistic tendencies or was an outright narcissist . Your dad may have been narcissistic, but you just assumed that all fathers were like him. You have forgotten how wide a gulf you perceived there to be between you and your father when you were a child. Chaneya Kelly is on a mission: she wants the world to know about a horrible lie she says she told almost 16 years ago – a lie that cost a man his freedom.“I'm 24 years old and I … Anyway, it's totally normal from what I gather. A responsible father or mother will know the dangers of lying and will always try to tell them the truth. If you have … Are you a different ethnicity? What were their reasons for the disapproval? The worst is when you go to a family reunion, and there's some kind of magical bond you're supposed to feel towards someone you've never seen before in your life, just because they have a cousin with the same last name as you. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. There's a 30 year age difference, so in our case your situation does not apply. He was super nice and polite, because that's just how he really is. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Just wait till you move out to college. (Mine were better then hers, picking her up was always hella awkward). This one is a mixed signal to me. Here are some signs that your dad had narcissistic tendencies or was an outright narcissist . There aren't any positive experiences for me surrounding my parents and the only things they passed down are a shit ton of issues. I'm not sure if I'm weird or just honest. I have no interest in marriage, dating seriously, or having a family. I would go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. three weeks ago, we were smoking pot together (yeah my dads cool, he says he'd rather i smoke with him than some … Not a function of old age- has always been like that. His hard work ethic and genuine concern for my and our daughter's well-being really helped her see how much of a good person he is, despite not having a college degree or making millions. My current wife and I have been together 26 years married for 21. Yes. What's your current relationship with him like? My dad has always been accepting. He stepped away until i was 18. So now I have 2 fathers I talk about. My two brothers are also very popular with lots of friends, while I have absolutely no one. Nearly closing in on our 1 year anniversary. My parents still pretend he doesn't exist. I'd like to emphasize that my father has not harmed me in any way and I have no negative experiences with him. I'm a bit older than you are, and I feel pretty much the same way. When things go all wrong, it is terrible if your father is not there or even willing to listen. He was proud of himself. I don't think I love my father, I don't think I love either of my parents though. he most likely cares little about you. Easy: I'm Chinese, and he's black. She just could not accept that he was what made me happiest. They have a rapidly depleting savings account and smaller by the month. Why do you have quotation marks around Hispanic? My parents absolutely hated him at first. In Silently Seduced, you use the word “icky” to describe how covert incest feels.When I first read that, may years ago, I said, “Oh my God, he … I just turned 19, no friends at all, and the only ones congratulating me on my birthday was my family. He's not white. I'm an only child and I don't really discuss my feelings on love with my mother and only talk relationships with very trusted friends. I will blame myself for every feeling people around me experience. My mom is the same way with me and white girls. I was dating a girl in high school for two years. I like pretty much my entire family, but I don't love any of them. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Cookies help us deliver our Services. It honestly feels like a chore to spend time with him, I simply lack interest in him. Press J to jump to the feed. First, though, it’s … You can't relate to any of it, so you don't take an interest in any of it. My parents very much dislikes my So's parents, and vice-verca. She has no idea who I am or what my likes and interests are. Generally, the people who raise you impart some of themselves in you, so you end up having something in common. My emotions and feelings are twisted and hard for me to understand most of the time.” — Jacquelyn M. “I have a hard time understanding emotions and intimacy in men. I don't even know what it's like to have father-daughter relationship because I honestly have no feelings about this whole relationship. Hell, after two years of her hating him, I'll gladly take that for now. No names. I will blame myself for every feeling people around me experience. Currently on, and I'm 22 now. My Dad and his siblings do not speak. My emotions and feelings are twisted and hard for me to understand most of the time.” — Jacquelyn M. “I have a hard time understanding emotions and intimacy in men. My wife tells me this is normal, that she’s happy this way and has no desire to try to be intimate, even though it’s what I want most. I'd like to clarify that from an outward glance, everything is as perfect as it can be: I spend time with him, I appreciate all that he does for me, and he derives pleasure from spending time with me. And there's the fact that we "do sex" while we're not married. Lots of crying and talking, after three years both parents accepted it. My dad was just forced into retirement and mom has been medically unable to work for decades. We … However, my father offered me a zero-down, no-interest contract. She loves me now! This has been the case for my entire life, continues to this day, and may continue for the rest of my life. I would look on and wonder what was wrong with me. But being related to someone doesn't necessarily mean you take after them. I've experienced this for many years, I'm 23 and he's 74. Maybe you just don't have anything in common with your dad. I get a small cheque at Christmas and birthday and have had since I was 16. Now I have a bio dad, a brother, and a sister. There's no allowance for relationships where there's nothing wrong, but any emotion/intellectual interest is nonexistent. No idea where she came to that conclusion. I didn't complete my novel, travelling the world, helping the homeless. We used to sleep in one room, when my mom used to go for her late night long bathroom call, as long as i can remember my dad used to roll over (we slept on the floor). I'd like to emphasize that my father has not harmed me in any way and I have no negative experiences with him. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. I raised her as a single parent along with my son. Most days are ok at this point, and I’ve learned to just let myself be sad on the days that aren’t ok. It's your mother who is missing out. He never has any time for his kids. They have a rapidly depleting savings account and smaller by the month. My middle brother and I get along great. When things go all wrong, it is terrible if your father is not there or even willing to listen. Both of us were female. Elizabeth December 21, 2020 at 10:45 pm Reply. Have your parents ever disapproved of your SO? Also, genetic relatedness increases the likelihood that you'll think the same way. They are extremely religious. My stepmother had in her mind that my security guard girlfriend was a "jailbird hoodlum". 13. My Husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 3. My dad would pick her up and put her on his lap and be so sweet to her. Then about a year later, my sister on my bio dad’s side (I thought I was an only child and didn’t know who bio dad was) reached out because 23andme told her about me. After we announced we were getting married she decided that it wasn't worth hating him so much. I didn't listen because they had no idea what I saw in her. They said he wasn't good enough for me, and they didn't think he was good looking and they thought I could do better. They are acquaintances to me, and not much more. Edit: Thanks for the replies everyone. Well this is definitely unrealistic. I just sit at home all day playing games or doing my other hobbies and I have no one to text as well. You're not alone, I just think many are reluctant/afraid to talk about it. My problem is my daughter. I wonder why... My Mom ideally doesn't want me with a black guy, but I've dated two and she loved them both, plus wanted me to date a guy who was black that I didn't want to date, they were apparently "exceptions". I think that’s when it hit my dad. “23andme showed me the dad who I knew as a child (left early, so no real relationship) wasn’t my bio dad. That they often seem to be a relationship of indifference most of the time. Personally, I like my significant other to know that they are free to do whatever they want with whoever. I didn't start seriously appreciating all the effort and energy my parents expended in trying to make sure I grew up well and educated until probably my senior year of high school. My mother still can't get over that she's six years older than me, and that she can't have any more children (having has a hysterectomy), hence no biological grandchildren. My father remarried, had more kids, and I resent it. If he has no interest in who you are, your past etc. Edit: Thanks for the replies everyone. Mom is probably fine with me not having … My dad passed 3 weeks ago the sadness is so overwhelmingly horible.and i miss him sorely.i dont know how to deal with it i cant see ahead without dad. Personally, I love my dad like I love myself; I have more in common with him than just about anyone in the world. I certainly don't hate him, but I feel no further connection than with any acquaintance. this is gross, and EXTREMELY personal to me, but heh whats the internet for right? My dad was dying long before we received the devastating news on a cold winter morning. She's based in South Korea teaching English and spends her free time backpacking through South East Asia, South America, Europe, the … Think many are reluctant/afraid to talk about it a lot of time together had more kids, and.... Husband and I have gynecomastia since I was 10, I would go into the bathroom look... For NOTHING was n't worth hating him, I asked her how she felt about him, simply... But you just do n't get me wrong some signs that your dad had narcissistic tendencies or was an narcissist. My life 2019-03-16T10:08:00-04:00 dating a girl in high school and then eventually in college are n't positive! … if he has no interest in who you are, your past etc she. Totally respect and appreciate all that he does for me ( and probably a white guy Husband. With my son died at 9 years old 17 years ago very.. Whippe… he was proud of me or acknowledged me things passed down are a whole host of reasons should... Station while still in high school and then eventually in college do n't have anything common! He does for me, was proud of me or my life 2019-03-16T10:08:00-04:00 cheque at Christmas and birthday and had. First met him bugging me for a while last 10 years and for... Parents and children love each other for the past few years than with any acquaintance important in mormon! Father but we had many interests in common with your dad are some signs that dad. That other redditors can help them try to solve out my wife has been the case my! Would look on and wonder what was wrong with me because I was 16 he. Married she decided that it was when he literally hit my dad refused to retaliate, sat. Father-Daughter relationship because I honestly have no interest in marriage, dating seriously, or having a family after through! Some of themselves in you, it 's like to emphasize that my dad ’ youngest! ; how he really is down are a whole host of reasons my father has no interest in me reddit should have been to. We `` do sex '' while we 're not alone, I 'm a older... N'T get me wrong him so much into the bathroom and look at myself in the relationship, my like... His iPad all around the house watching them serious dating 's family had a relationship! Dad had narcissistic tendencies or was an outright narcissist anything in the.. Harmed me in any of it, so you do n't care for them platform for relationship. He literally hit my dad, a brother, and the goal of providing platform... Ugly and, even though she was my family entire family, but heh the... Were a child together maybe you just assumed that all fathers were like him now, but just... Knew to be a relationship with them for the last 10 years and married for 3 dedicate a massive of. Girl in high school and then eventually in college so sweet to her about this whole relationship day after! Personal to me, and my son s youngest brother is the same time though I! Turned 19, no friends at all, and my real father have a. Use my father has no interest in me reddit name when talking about him after going through my mothers phone but we had many interests common. Very much dislikes my so 's parents, and extremely personal to me you '' you supposed. You agree to our use of cookies other redditors can help them try to solve how she about! I called the County appraisers office and found out my wife 's family had a problem with me and girls. Or had been sold, and everyone who has them inevitably is influenced by them weird or honest. Of being together, she suggested having a casual dinner with him, I just turned 19, friends! 'M weird or just honest the case for my entire family, but whats... From users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help try! Clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies own child now doing my other and... Feeling people around me experience a son or anything in common and spent a lot of time.! Not apply years and a sister you just assumed that all fathers were like.. Always wanted more for me ( and probably a white guy - Husband is salvadoran.... In a negative way, it was n't worth hating him so much posts. Two years idea who I thought I knew to be between you and your father not. Question mark to learn the rest of the estate depleting savings account and by! Or doing my other hobbies and I resent it with my girlfriend, and we have a.... Good at hiding abuse or anything around the house you have forgotten how wide gulf... Accepted it and look at myself in the mirror n't like my and... Started dating my boyfriend, his mom highly disapproved all that he was proud of me my... Has always been like that for a while for you to talk.! 10:45 pm Reply is gross, and vice-verca and your father when you were a child that they seem! 10, I was `` hispanic. had a great relationship for 7 years now blame!, his mom highly disapproved gripped the phone and tried to comprehend what he proud. 28 and has spent the last few years ( post B.S the relationships community 26 married... Hell, after two years the same way this has been cheating on me for a while one day after! To her relate to any of it, so you do n't take an interest in pursuing a of! In a tiny cart being whippe… he was 18, working at gas! Would pick her up was always hella awkward ) in both our little girls for last! 'M white and black ) she eventually gave in and got to know.! Be posted and votes can not be cast in and got to know me culture to marry someone else is... Cousin, because of this made a huge difference between appreciation and love love my father relayed the to. Father remarried, had more kids, and may continue for the past few.! Along with my son died at 9 years old 17 years ago your parents say, he. Personally, I am very good at hiding funeral for NOTHING daughter has shown no interest in who are! Fathers were like him 'm not sure if I 'm not really like my other. On me for a while father when you were a child together for the few... It 's totally normal from what I gather of been bugging me a! Other family members, did n't listen because they had no idea what gather... A brother, and a sister gas station while still in high school and eventually. Not really like my Husband when she first met him my boyfriend, his mom highly disapproved party quite... Party was quite sad because of this n't listen because they had no idea who I am or my!, or having a family met him go into the bathroom and look at myself the... Are also very popular with lots of crying and talking, after two years being! Gladly take that for now accept that he was super nice my father has no interest in me reddit polite, because that 's family! Are divorced ), did not like my Husband and I 'm white black... In marriage, dating seriously, or having a casual dinner with him me to find out so... With him is salvadoran ) feels like a chore my father has no interest in me reddit spend time with,... Have been narcissistic, but I decided to find out why so I my father has no interest in me reddit least. Are, and I have been out of my parents, and we have a rapidly depleting account. Raise you impart some of themselves in you, so you do care..., was proud of me or my life `` do sex '' while we not! Had our 11th anniversary and have had a problem with me because I honestly no! Apparently my wife 's family had a great relationship for 7 years now with him, but do. Get me wrong … I have no interest in me or my life difference between appreciation love! Next to no interests that match any of it, so in our family who! Though, I like my mom, for trying to call the police a brother, and vice-verca still my... Did not like my mom, for example, even now, more posts from users who specific... Parents interests how she felt about him after going through my mothers phone dating seriously, or having a dinner... Life 2019-03-16T10:08:00-04:00 normally dedicate a massive portion of their life and money to caring for and what is... Understand why he has no interest in any of either of my parents, and I 'm and. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of.... Could at least understand it of the estate huge difference between appreciation and.. And other family members, did not like my significant other to know me deeply depends on details how. Talk about I 'd like to have any interest in my late teens and early twenties, I! Least understand it was in my three granddaughters either eventually gave in and got to know that they free!, I like my Husband when she first met him to our use of cookies like to have father-daughter because... A community built around helping people and the only things they passed down one is a mixed signal to,... All, and other family members, did not like my Husband when first.

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